Stealing Some Late-Night Humor

I love Bill in Portland Maine. I love Cheers and Jeers on Daily Kos. And this opening collection of late-night humor is just too good not to steal (sorry BiPM):

Late Night Snark: Approved By Aqua Buddha!

"Everyone is talking about Steven Slater, the flight attendant who cursed at a passenger, grabbed two beers, and slid down the escape slide, which may be the best resignation ever. In fact he’s so good at quitting, they’re thinking about making him the next governor of Alaska."
---Jimmy Kimmel
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"Health officials in Oregon have shut down a 7-year-old girl’s lemonade stand because she didn’t have a license. Officials haven’t issued a statement yet. They’re busy popping balloon animals and stomping on sand castles."
---Craig Ferguson
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Jon Stewart: So much irrational illegal-immigrant hate. I just wish there was a voice of reason out there...someone who could see this issue clearly.
Clip of Lou Dobbs: And the idea that "anchor babies" somehow require changing the 14th Amendment...I have to insist that we recognize those "anchor babies" as citizens of this country.
Stewart:  Lou Dobbs thinks your immigration measure is too draconian! Lou Dobbs, who spent the last 50 years of his life trying to get Dora the Explorer deported, thinks you've gone too far!
---The Daily Show
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"A company in Britain has created a car that can be powered by human waste. It's cool, but it gets a little uncomfortable when your buddy asks you to 'chip in' for gas."
---Jimmy Fallon
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"A federal judge in California struck down Proposition 8, saying it was unconstitutional. ... Remember when women used to say the best ones were either gay or married? Now they can be both."
---Jay Leno
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"Look at Newt Gingrich. His moral compass is so great he can make it point wherever he wants, at least according to his ex-wife, Marianne, in this month's Esquire. Now don’t worry, this isn't that depressing story about Newt dumping his wife when she was in the hospital with cancer---Marianne's the woman he dumped the cancer wife for. You see, later Newt left Marianne for an even younger congressional aide, who became his third wife. Newt is so pro-marriage he can't stop doing it! And he's so morally upright that he's only had sex after he was married...just not always to the woman he was married to."
---Stephen Colbert

Click the link and go read the rest of today's Cheers and Jeers. (Unless you're a conservative; then you may not enjoy too much of it. <g>)