The Mormons Let Me Down

Doggone Mormons. I thought I could trust them. I thought they would come through in the clutch. I mean, if you can't trust those dudes in the white shirts and ties, riding bikes and doing missionary work in the Bible Belt, who can you trust? That's what I thought, too.

This year, though, the Mormons let me down.

I play the ESPN Bracket Challenge every year, both men's and women's. I usually do at least three brackets: one very realistic (I sometimes do one that's all chalk, in fact), one that has a smattering of upsets, and one that has my favorite team or teams winning it all. I'm fairly knowledgeable about b-ball, so my brackets are usually in the top half of the contest, even as high as the top 10% sometimes.

But not this year. I counted on those Mormon schools, and they let me down.

I picked Utah to beat Arizona in the first round. After all, Arizona just barely got in, and Utah had a strong year. Unfortunately, Arizona got a second life by getting in and turned this into the proverbial 12-5 upset. Utah gone, and that whole tranch of my bracket screwed up.

I also picked Utah State to beat Marquette. I thought that was a realistic upset, with Marquette playing a short rotation and looking tired as it came down the stretch. But no! Marquette also gets a second life in the tourney, and beats Utah State by a point. Another leg of the bracket completely messed up.

And let's not even talk about Cleveland State beating Wake Forest (CLEVELAND STATE?!?), or Dayton beating West Virginia (DAYTON?!?) I mean, who picks Cleveland State to beat Wake? Unreal.

ESPN colors your winning choices blue, and your incorrect choices pink. The left side of my bracket looks like a breast cancer fund-raising effort. My best bracket is at 70%, while the other two are at 33% and 44%. Unreal.

So, dudes-in-white-shirts-and-ties, the next time you knock on my door, forget talking about the golden tablets. I'm going to want to know why you can't block out.